Latin Lovers

A-Nu confesses to being a wee bit overly sensitive to a whole slew of linguistic irritants. But she thinks she is entirely justified in flying into a rage over a huge steaming pile of gratuitous Latin plopped down right in the middle of an otherwise respectable judicial opinion. Of all the abominably pretentious and offensive customs unique to the legal profession, A-Nu views Latin fetishism as by far the most atrocious.

The Fifth Circuit recently handed down a prime example of the noxious phenomenon to which A-Nu refers: Kadlec Medical Center v. Lakeview Anesthesia Associates, 2008 WL 1976591 (5th Cir. May 30, 2008). Nothing in the opinion suggests that linguistic travesty was a foregone conclusion. Indeed, the facts read rather like an Oprah's Book Club selection: a Demerol-popping anesthesiologist botches a routine fifteen minute tubal ligation, consigning his young and beautiful (at least in A-Nu's fertile imagination) patient to a permanent vegetative state.

Judge Reavley, however, apparently views this gripping human drama as a mere sideshow in a veritable circus of Latin words and phrases. A-Nu can tolerate -- just barely -- the use of "ex ante" and "respondeat superior" (although she still fails to understand why "before the fact" and "supervisor liability" won't do). But the repeated references to motions "in limine" absolutely kill her: it's one of those expressions that lawyers use to make lay folk think that lawyers are really smart, but A-Nu thinks everyone should quit showing off already and just talk about the motions they filed before trial started.

Even more offensive is the blithe reference to the judgments against two of the defendants being "in solido" with that of a third defendant. Despite having a degree from a fancy law school, A-Nu has no fucking clue what in solido means, which strongly suggests that neither the vegetative patient nor her (presumably handsome and heartbroken) husband will get it either.

The opinion then hits rock bottom, in A-Nu's view, with its explanation that the anesthesiologist was employed as a "locum tenens" -- which, as Reavley parenthetically notes, translates to "travelling doctor." What, there wasn't enough Latin in the opinion already, so it was necessary to import some from the medical profession?

But no need to continue ad nauseum: A-Nu rests her case.